You know that friend that has to be part of everything? The “no invite” friend? The friend that only hits you up when they see you hanging with someone else, so they text you acting like that’s not why they text you? The friend that thinks y’all are closer than y’all actually are? I’m sure we all have a friend or two exactly like this, the jealous and inconsistent friend. The tricky part is knowing how to deal with them. My only advice is don’t lead them on because you’ll only make it worse for yourself. This’ll probably sound weird, but dealing with an inconsistent, jealous friend is like dealing with someone who likes you that you don’t share mutual feelings for. What I mean is you have to tell him/her straight up how you feel. If you don’t then they’ll continue to be a nuisance to you. I know it isn’t easy, but it’s not going to get easier by you allowing it to go on.
Why They’re So Annoying….
9 times out of 10 they’re annoying to you because you only hear from them when you make a post on socials or when they want something. The post that shows you and another or others having fun which makes that jealous side kick in. They expect you to understand their inconsistency even though you know for a fact their life isn’t that busy, if at all. They make time for you when they feel like it and expect you to be open to it no matter what. They want what you have, feel you shouldn’t have a problem helping them with anything they ask for, and it feels more like they’re your child rather than your friend. It’s not that they have no one they simply don’t value anyone or don’t know how to. They don’t realize how inconsistent they are nor how their inconsistency and jealousy affects the friendship because they think you have no problem with the way they do things. They speak to you as if you guys are inseparable. They begin to panic when you act different or ignore them because they can’t understand why you’d act such a way towards them. And this is where you make it worse for yourself.
Why You Should Speak Up….
I know how annoying that friend can be because it seems as if they’re always trying to prove a point to you. They want you to know that they’re here for you if you need anyone to talk to – but they’ll overstep with their choice of words for advice. That you can always count on them to tag along if no one else is willing – but on their terms. That you guys are besties – but only when no one else is available. And you have an issue with every single one of those things, but won’t part your lips to say so. You feel like they’re crowding your space, that they don’t know limits because they keep being pressed, and now you’ve reached the point of wanting to curse them out at even the thought of them. This isn’t what you want to hear, because I didn’t want to hear it either, but this is your fault. You knew the moment you began getting annoyed who you were dealing with and that it wouldn’t stop unless you put an end to it. You’re more concerned about their feelings than your sanity. Hear me out because I’m not saying curse them out and hurt their feelings. I’m saying set clear boundaries with them and if they cannot abide by your request then they have to go.
A Message to The Jealous, Inconsistent Friend….
They don’t want to tell you this so let me because this has gone on far too long. And I am guilty of not speaking up when I should have. YOU ARE ANNOYING BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. What I mean is if you text/call someone three times or even three days in a row and get no response, why do you still feel the need to reach out? If you see a post made of a night out without you, why do you feel the need to text the person asking why you weren’t invited? If you’re always trying to hold conversation and notice how nonchalant the responses are, why do you feel the need to keep the conversation going? These are all clear signs that the person doesn’t want to be bothered with you. YES THEY SHOULD TELL YOU THAT BUT THEY HAVEN’T SO WHY DON’T YOU TAKE THE HINT? There are numerous ways that you can stay in contact with someone without being a nuisance. How about you start by being consistent and not only texting/calling the person when you have no one else to talk to or want something. You should also dim it down with the jealously because they’re having fun with or talking to someone other than you. Send a text in the morning or give them a call letting them know you’re checking up on them to make sure they’re okay. If you get no response and can’t contain yourself than do the same that night. But if you wake up and still have no notifications from them then let it be. Stop being pressed trying to prove a point. Deep down inside you feel the vibe they’re giving off, but you keep ignoring it. So, you’re going to end up hurt too.
It’s Time To End This….
When someone irritates you with anything they say or do, you should end whatever y’all have or they think y’all have. You guys may have been cool in the beginning, but things do change. You’re allowed to feel how you do however the last thing you want to do is lead a person on, friend or not. If you guys are really friends, then a conversation should be had about the way you feel so it can be resolved. If you don’t feel all that is necessary, then cut them off and move on. Some people have a shitty way of showing they care and that way can be through jealousy. While others are completely annoying with their inconsistency that you’ve been over. Your options now are to deal with them or don’t and by your irritation level, I’d say don’t. *blocks the jealous friend*