I talk about a variety of things on my blog, but I find myself neglecting one …. MOTHERHOOD. For almost a year now I’ve been raising my children on my own. They are 2-years-old and 4 months, and the oldest gives me the hardest time. From trying to get her to eat to what she wants to watch to potty time to going to bed. I mean the list can go on for days.
It’s hard to speak on being a mother because I find myself lost a lot of times. Sure, it’s easy to tell your child “No”, to eat, to take a bath, get dressed, etc. But what about when they don’t want to eat and you’ve been trying to get them to all day? What about when they do something wrong and you want to discipline them, but you’ve heard more than enough crying for the day? What about when sitting their iPad in the window with Trolls playing is the only way you’ll get a few minutes to yourself to simply sit down? And yes, I AM SITTING THERE WATCHING HER. People are always so quick to judge a parent by what they see their child(ren) do, but know nothing. Especially when it comes to the mental well being of the parent(s).
My daughter has her moments when “no” doesn’t exist to her. And as crazy as it sounds, I do feel guilty some of those times. When she wants me to color with her, but I don’t want to or am doing something else. When she wants to watch the same movie for the thousandths time, but I’m sick of it – so I’m trying to talk her into watching a different one. When she wants my food instead of her own and I don’t want to share, but I know it’s the only way she’ll eat, etc. In the eyes of others they’ll automatically say, “You’re giving her, her way” and to them I say I AM SO GLAD YOU’RE THE PERFECT PARENT WHO’S NEVER GIVEN INTO YOUR CHILD FOR A FEW MINUTES OF SANITY.
Not once did I ever think motherhood would be easy, but I also never saw me raising my kids alone this long – or at all. These days I find myself giving into her because I’m overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted. Being a mother is a responsibility that no one except a mother will ever understand. And I haven’t met the perfect kid yet – and I seriously doubt I ever will – so before you judge me or any other mother think about those days you’ve had as a mother. Doesn’t feel good does it? My point exactly because IT IS HARD TO STAY ON SCHEDULE AND DO WHAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE DONE AT THAT EXACT TIME. IT IS HARD TO GET UP EARLY EVERY SINGLE MORNING WHEN YOU DIDN’T GO UNTIL 2 OR 4AM BECAUSE YOU WERE FINISING TASK YOU COULDN’T WHILE YOUR CHILDREN WERE UP. IT IS HARD TO FIND TIME FOR YOUR MENTAL WHEN THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN DEPEND ON IS YOU. BUT AT THE BEGINNING AND END OF EVERY DAY, YOU DON’T HAVE THE OPTION TO NOT BE A MOTHER TO YOUR KID(S).
We’re getting there nonetheless , I’m getting there, and it’ll become a little easier someday. She is 2 which I have to keep in mind with everything that I do when it comes to her. I try my best every minute of every day and will continue to do so. She is very smart and attentive amongst other things so I know my baby will be fine. She’ll probably always give me a hard time but hey, that’s my baby!