There are a few types of people you should stay away from, but I’m going to tell you the three I’ve been dealing with for a while now that I suggest you’d stay away from;
- The habitual liar – the person that lies so much they believe their own lies so you never know whether they’re telling the truth or not.
- The victimizer – the person who creates ALL their own issues yet makes it seem as though everyone except them is the issue. You know, the ones who seem to be allergic to fuckin up in any way.
- The excuse maker (“But you know how I am”) – the person who uses any excuse to be fucked up in any way, shape, or form and you just have to understand it…and that’s the bottom line.
As I stated before I’ve been dealing with these types of people for a while now. But my focus is number three, Mr./Mrs. “But you know how I am”. I tell you to stay away from them because they’re a different kind of toxic. They’re the type to do anything they want, at the expense of your feelings, and expect you to understand it. It’s like them saying, “You knew who I was when you met me”, and some probably will say that too. I know that sounds like something a person in a relationship would say, but I’ve actually had a “friend” say both to me. They’re the people who have been messed up since they were children. They’re the ones whose parents allowed them to be this way or made them this way – hoping they’d change when they got older.
And now that they’re adults, their parents act oblivious to the fact that this is who they raised.
I could say they’re misunderstood, then again how could you possibly understand anyone who purposely hurts people with no regard of their feelings? Friends to relationships, I’ve dealt with both sides of the “But you know how I am” saga and I am over it. It is absolutely frustrating dealing with people who continuously do and say things they know aren’t right, but make an excuse to make it seem as though it is. And they truly believe that repeating those six words – five if you take out “but” – excuses them from their wrong doings. It’s quite sad actually. But when you think about it, and I mean really think about it, this isn’t behavior that was accepted overnight. THINK ABOUT IT. But believe me they aren’t the only ones you need to stay away from because it gets worse.
Those who defend them ARE PEOPLE YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM AS WELL. More than likely they’re the same exact way which is why they excuse it. They’ll more than likely say, “You know that’s how he/she is” – as the excuse maker would say – and they do believe you should understand that. Yet when the tables turn it becomes a meltdown of them acting as if they don’t know this person. “I don’t understand why he/she is like that”, “Who raised them?”, “What’s really the issue?”. Isn’t it funny how they defended their actions to you, but made no excuses when it happened to them? This is the never-ending cycle of it and those who have been acceptant of it so don’t act surprised.
Knowing someone and their habits for years isn’t an excuse to allow them to treat you like shit. Just because others accept it doesn’t mean you have to. There are so many who aren’t ready to accept what I’m about to say, but it’s gotta be said. People continue to treat you fucked up because you’ve chosen to accept the behavior for so long. So, either way you’re part of the problem. If you’re going to keep allowing “But you know how I am” to be an apology, you’ll always be treated poorly. Personally, I do believe that a person who uses that as an excuse – or any excuse really – for their poor behavior has no respect for you. But that also falls along the lines of what YOU have allowed. I’m still dealing with it from people in my life which is why I can identify some of the issue.
It’ll only get worse if you don’t correct them or leave them alone, seriously. I do believe that people can change however you have to keep in mind that people who have never had a reason to change won’t just because you don’t like their way(s). And if they do it’s going to take a while, like, a long while. Also, if you’ve been the one accepting it they really won’t find a reason to change. Something drastic will have to happen for them to be able to even identify that they do, in fact, have a problem. It’s one thing to actually be sorry, admit you were wrong, or try to do something different next time. But to keep using the same excuse over and over is a clear sign that they simply do not care. And you’re going to have to get that through your head at some point.
Don’t be like me thinking things will change because you change or remain the same. The only thing that’ll make a person change is them no matter what the issue is.